Why Saying No Really Matters
Most of my life has been lived as an adventure. "Whatever makes for a better story" has been my go-to mantra for as long as I can remember.
And I let it destroy my life.
When we talk about decision making, there's a lot of ink spent on deciding between two possible outcomes. When you choose one path, it's at the cost of the opportunity to pursue the other path.
They're both abstract.
But something we don't talk about much is how you're often not making a choice between 2 hypothetical outcomes. Sometimes you're making a choice between how things are right now, and how they could be.
The opportunity to have what you want is at the cost of everything you have already.
Radical Honesty Time
Not many people know I used to be married.
We met when we both worked at Disney World, so we were both heavily under the "Happily Ever After" magic spell of the happiest place on Earth.
After several years of marriage, there was an opportunity to be with someone who wasn't my wife.
I said yes.
The cost of that opportunity was the marriage, my friendships with her whole family, the stability of 2 incomes, all the wedding gifts, the trust of my friends, and I could go on for a lot longer outlining what that single choice cost me.
Point being, when you're making a choice, it's not always between two possible outcomes. It's often between a possible outcome and how things actually are right now.
Negative to a Positive
My example happens to be negative, but it doesn't always have to be. I wanted to share that story because it outlines how I've learned some of these lessons the hard way; I'm not perfect.
But the question stays the same.
What are you saying yes to that's costing you everything?
There are things you're saying yes to right now that are at the expense of having the opportunity to have everything you've ever wanted. It's up to you to find out what those are, and learn how to say no.
When you say no, you're not just deciding against something; you're saying yes to what you truly want.
If you want success, you're going to have to say no to a lot of things you might enjoy. Otherwise, your life quickly fills up with obligations, things, people, and time wasters that aren't moving you closer to where you want to be.
So you can see, saying yes & no are 2 sides of the same coin. When you say yes to something, you're saying no to everything else. When you say no to something you're saying yes to everything else.
Choosing what you say yes & no to is the single act that dictates how your life plays out. It can be saying yes or no to jobs, houses, relationships, hobbies, etc. It can be anything.
And it all costs you dearly.
That's why success and failure cost everything you have.