Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
— Notorious d.e.b. (@debihope) January 24, 2010
One of the best things about my life, right now, is having the ability to pick who I get to spend it with. It wasn't always that way, though.
I used to be miserable & stressed out all the time. Then I figured it out; I was surrounded by assholes.
I'm embarrassed by how long it took to put it all together, but I finally recognized the signs had been there the whole time. That's when I came up with the idea of an "asshole audit."
Try it yourself. How many of these situations ring a bell with you?
- Are you more bummed after hanging out with someone than you were before?
- Does the thought of spending time with this person make you anxious?
- Is there someone who's a contrarian, and always arguing with you?
- Do you get put down, ridiculed, or made fun of instead of being supported?
- Do your friends interfere with fantastic opportunities you've created for yourself?
- When you tell your friends about your success, do they turn it into a competition?
- Are you spending all of your time listening to their problems but they have no time for yours?
- Are they drama queens? Is everything a "disaster?"
- Are they always telling you what you should do without asking you if you want to hear their input?
- Are they telling you what you should do even though their own life is in shambles? (Are you acting on that advice?)
I've been through it all. Whether it was a personal relationship, (or professional) I've seen every single one of these first-hand.
I thought I was depressed. I thought I was never going to be successful. I thought I was a colossal failure.
Turns out I was just surrounded by assholes.
Now I'm constantly going through the behavior audit process, and I can choose how much time I want to spend with them (which is none).
Make a huge change in your life, and only be around people who are on the flip side of the coin. They should encourage you, not interfere with your business without asking, support you, make you feel energized & able to accomplish anything.
Final note: If you see yourself in those questions, you're the asshole. It's time to change how you're living. You are worth self respect.